愛してる 永遠に
by shiroiokami
Summary: Oneshot. Allen's summary of his relationship with Kanda. Yullen with a side order of Lavi/Lenalee, washed down with a nice cup of fluff. Rated T for cursing, mainly.


Disclaimer: I own nothing!

T^T T^T T^T

Soft caresses and gentle kisses. Warm embraces and secret smiles, just for me. Eyes tough enough to see through all the bullshit but still soft enough to comfort when needed. Hands rough whenever they touched a weapon or tool and silky smooth whenever they came in contact with my skin. Skin… hard against the obstacles the world threw at it and yet somehow soft and pliant under my fingers… How can one person be black one moment and white the next? How can one single soul hold all the contrasts of the world?

He was aloof when I first met him. Cold, hard and unfeeling were words one could've used to describe him, his emotions seemingly locked deep within a heart encased in ice. But as time passed along, I started to see through the ice to the heart freezing to death under it all, and the more I saw, the more I wanted to save this man's poor heart… so I tried to get closer. Only to have him shove all of it in my face.

The first time I tried to get to know him better was disastrous. A simple conversation had quickly turned into an argument, which quickly gave way to a fight. After that first fight, it seemed that every time we were in the same room disaster befell upon us. Until one day, during one of our many arguments, he said the one thing that got me to snap.

"God! You insufferable son of a bitch! Do you honestly have to make everyone as miserable as you seem to be? Or is having a civil conversation such a sin?" I remember he'd insulted my late father in his rage, and, naturally, this immediately made me drop the polite mask I usually had and let it shatter to a million pieces, switching back to the vulgar vocabulary I'd learned as a child living in the streets.

My outburst shocked him into silence, his eyes widening in either surprise that I'd actually cursed or at the realization of what he'd said or maybe what I'd said, or both. At the moment I didn't care enough to try to figure it out, so I left, climbing to the highest part of the building that I could find, wishing to be alone. I stayed up there for a week, not feeling in the least bit hungry or tired. I came down in the late afternoon of the seventh day I was up on the roof, but only because someone was sent to get me down. Otherwise, I would've stayed up there longer.

Of course, I don't have the best of luck, so after being halfway dragged to the cafeteria to be forced to eat something, we ran into _him_. Our eyes locked, time slowing down as we stared at each other. It felt like forever to me, but it must've been only a few moments. However, it was long enough for me to feel whatever rage I'd managed to get rid of in the week I spent on the roof come back with a vengeance. I broke eye contact, walking past him as if he wasn't there, making a turn on the last hallway before the cafeteria, quickly loosing whatever poor fool had been sent to retrieve me and leaving to hide again, at another point on the roof. I failed to notice the state he was in as I passed him, but I would later hear from one of the scientists that he'd found him leaning against the wall on the hallway before the cafeteria, one hand grasping his hair in an almost defeated manner and looking for all the world like he was about to cry.

This time I was left alone. I stayed where I'd gone to sit on the roof for a week and a half this time, hunger getting the better of me as I decided to return to the world of the living. I didn't run into him this time as I made my way to the cafeteria, but I did receive many greetings from the people that passed me as they saw I'd finally decided to return. Talking to Lavi and Lenalee, however, killed my somewhat pleasant mood. Apparently _he_ had changed a lot in the time I was gone, pensive but still somewhat aggressive the first week, pensive and sad the rest of the time, without the anger surprisingly enough. These news made me feel somewhat upset myself, but it didn't even begin to shake my rock-hard determination to avoid him for as long as I could.

However, it seemed fate had other plans, and one day, as I was returning to my room from the cafeteria, I ran into Kanda, who wasted no time in pushing me against the wall probably to prevent me from escaping, which I had been trying to do.

"Are you going to run away again, or can I actually say something this time?" he said, his voice low, sounding tired and defeated.

I looked at him, my eyes hard, although I did notice the way his eyes glistened underneath his fringe and the dark bags he had acquired, probably from the lack of sleep. "What can you possibly say that'll be worth my time?" I said, my voice as hard as my eyes.

He frowned slightly, looking down, making his eyes look watery. I saw him bite his lip, his frown deepening as tears slowly rolled down his cheeks. This shocked me beyond belief. Kanda, the single most proud mother fucker I'd ever met was crying before me like a child. The sight made my anger flee faster than I'd thought possible, and I found myself frozen, unable to move as I didn't know what to do.

"I'm sorry… for what I said, for the way I acted… God… for the way I am…" Kanda's soft-spoken words, broken up by bitten-back sobs were all I needed, and I gently eased Kanda's loose fingers off my neck, grasping his hand and pulling it towards me, hugging him as soon as we came in contact. He tensed as I wound my arms around his torso, but he soon relaxed and even hugged me back, crying openly into my neck. The close contact made me feel warm and fluffy inside, and it didn't take long for me to get a million butterflies fluttering around in my stomach. Kanda's embrace became tighter, and my heartbeat became erratic. I felt him take a deep breath, then another, as if he were breathing in my scent. "Kanda…" I whispered into his ear as he took another deep breath.

He turned his head towards me, his lips on my pulse. "Moyashi…" he whispered, kissing me where his lips rested, making me bite my lip. "Allen…" he breathed out, and this time I could not stop the gasp that escaped me as he nibbled on the spot. I hadn't realized it before because of my anger, but now that it was gone and I was so close to him, I couldn't help but see just how much I actually cared for him, so much I'd fallen in love with him.

He pushed me against the wall, grinding his hips into mine, drawing a loud moan out of me. Grabbing a hold of my chin, he tilted it up, making eye contact with me for the first time in three weeks. I bit my lip as I recognized passion and lust mixed with something else swimming around in his eyes. One of his hands travelled up my side and I gasped; Kanda wasted no time and soon captured my lips with his own.

We could've and probably would've gone a lot further than that, had the sound of footsteps quickly followed by the worried voices of Lavi and Lenalee not reached our ears, making us break apart in a heartbeat.

Kanda let out a deep sigh, resting his forehead on mine. "Oi… moyashi… ore wa hontōni—" he started, probably unknowingly in Japanese, but I cut him off with a chuckle.

"You're not gonna apologize again, are you?" I said, smiling at him, relishing the cute blush that spread across his cheeks. I leaned up and kissed him, enjoying the light manner in which his tongue teased my senses. "Once was enough." I said, and was awarded with a smile.

We separated just as Lavi and Lenalee came around the corner. Lenalee beamed at us, while Lavi threw himself at me, crying rivers of crocodile tears as he went on and on about how he thought I was dead, even though I'd probably only been missing for a grand total of ten minutes. Kanda pointed this out in a very irritated manner to Lavi, who continued to overreact, so of course I was the only one that saw Lenalee smile in a contended manner. Things had finally gone back to normal.

It has been two years since that day, and I couldn't be happier. Lavi and Lenalee found out about our relationship two weeks after it begun, and, much to both Kanda's and my surprise, didn't tease us over it and instead expressed happiness and relief for us. Ever since then, Kanda and I have been secretly working toward getting Lavi to confess his affection to Lenalee, who felt the same way yet had no idea about Lavi's feelings for her. As for my relationship with Kanda, well… of course, like every couple, we have our ups and downs, but by the end of everything, we only get closer. I couldn't be any happier, unless of course Kanda proposed, something I've been fantasizing over for the past six months whenever Kanda's gone, but oh well.

\(^O^)/ TToTT (^w^)

A knock on his door alerted Allen to someone's presence outside his room. Quickly putting his diary away, Allen hurried to his door. Opening it, he was surprised to find his boyfriend of two years on the other side of it.

"Yuu! You're back early!" he said as he embraced him.

Kanda returned the embrace, smiling. "Hey, listen, how about we go out to dinner tonight? I've got a surprise for you." He said, grinning as he saw Allen blush at his smile. That never failed to make him blush for some reason.

"What kind of surprise?" Allen asked as he grabbed his favorite pair of boots and a jacket. It was starting to get cold outside.

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you what it is, now would it?" Kanda said, smirking still.

Allen chuckled. "True. Well, let's go then, before it gets too cold." He said.

Twenty minutes later, Allen found himself sitting inside a somewhat classy restaurant, waiting patiently for his food. It had only taken them ten minutes to get there, considering the light traffic. 'Although I do want to know why Yuu brought me to such a fancy restaurant…' Allen thought as he thanked the waitress for bringing their food.

"So, Yuu, why'd you bring me here?" Allen asked after about thirty minutes of Kanda and Allen teasing and flirting with each other in between bites.

Kanda looked down, suddenly unsure of how to go about with doing what he wanted to do. Looking into the endless silver pools that were Allen's eyes, he made up his mind, and taking hold of Allen's hands, he took off the gloves he always wore, intertwining their fingers. "Allen," he began, "We've been together for a little over two years now, and I can officially say it's been the most interesting and wonderful two years of my life, but… to me, it feels as if something's still missing." He said.

Allen looked at him, not entirely sure as to where Kanda's speech was going. "What do you mean?" he asked, cocking his head to the side cutely.

Kanda smiled, but instead of answering him, he got up, pulling a small box from his coat pocket as he did so, and kneeled before Allen, who at that point was starting to become very, very excited.

"Allen… you are everything in the world to me… you know I'd follow you to the end of forever… but, I need to know…" At this point in his speech, Kanda opened the box and held it out to Allen, revealing a silver wedding band. "… Would you do the same for me?" he said, staring straight into Allen's eyes, who couldn't believe either his eyes or his ears.

Eyes glistening with unshed tears of joy, Allen clasped his hands together and held them before his lips, nodding his head excitedly. "Yes… you know I would." He finally said, smiling happily.

Kanda joined him in his smile, removing the ring from its box and sliding it onto Allen's finger. Allen smiled again upon seeing a similar ring on Kanda's finger that hadn't been there before. Overcome with joy, he launched himself to Kanda, who nearly fell over, laughing lightly.

A few tables away, two people watched the scene with as much joy as Allen and Kanda were feeling.

"They look good together, don't they, Lavi?" Lenalee asked with a dreamy look to her eye.

"Yeah… they do. But you know, Lenalee," Lavi responded, taking one of Lenalee's hands with his own. "We could too." He said, looking at Lenalee with a certain sheen to his eye.

"Lavi?" Lenalee questioned, not wanting to get her hopes up.

"I really like you, Lenalee… Will you be mine?" Lavi asked, finally asking her what he'd wanted to ask her for over four years now.

Lenalee almost cried. "Of course!" she said, throwing her arms around Lavi's neck and kissing him.

Allen and Kanda smirked at each other. "So, he finally asked her, I'm assuming?" Allen said.

Kanda snorted. "Seems like it." He said, smirking at the scene only three tables away from theirs, still holding Allen's hands with his own, although this time, Allen hadn't bothered to put his gloves back on. From where Lavi and Lenalee were seated, a silver band could clearly be seen on Allen's ring finger, although they couldn't read what had been inscribed on the outside of it:

"愛してる, 永遠に"

_"I love you, forever"_


End file.
